How to Use Decentering Men, Reclaiming Self

You picked up Decentering Men, Reclaiming Self for a reason. Maybe you're tired of shrinking. Maybe you're done twisting yourself into shapes for men who offer nothing in return. Or you're realizing how deeply your self-worth was tied to male approval, and you are ready to break that pattern. Whatever brought you here, welcome.

This journal is not about misandry... It is about truth. It is about recognizing the ways we were trained to prioritize men’s feelings, opinions, desires, and needs above our own. It is about finally turning inward and asking yourself, "What would my life look like if I centered myself instead?"

Here is how to make the most of this journal:

Step One: Set the Intention

Before you even put pen to paper, take a deep breath. You are not here to shame your past self. You are here to honor your present and create something better for your future. Give yourself permission to be real. You do not need to sound enlightened. You need to be honest.

Step Two: Go One Section at a Time

This journal is divided into themed sections that build on one another. Some focus on self-worth, others on romantic detachment, identity, joy, or redefining love. You can go in order, or start with the section that hits closest to home. Either way, take your time. You are undoing years of programming. That does not happen overnight.

Step Three: Engage the Prompts Fully

Do not just answer the prompts at surface level. Dig. Get uncomfortable. Call yourself out with love. Name what you believed, what you tolerated, what you gave up trying to be chosen. This is a mirror. Let it show you everything, including your strength.

Step Four: Let the Affirmations Speak Life into You

Each section ends with a set of affirmations. These are not fluff. These are tools. Use them to rewrite the internal script that says your value is tied to what you can do for a man. Say them aloud. Put them somewhere visible. Use them until they feel like truth.

Step Five: Revisit, Reflect, Reclaim

Healing is layered. What you write today might read differently a month from now. That is growth. Revisit the sections as you need them. Add to your answers. Cross things out. Change your mind. The goal is not to get it perfect. The goal is to get free.

Pro Tips:

• Light a candle or play music while journaling to ground yourself

• Use this journal alongside therapy or support groups, if possible

• Be gentle with yourself when old thoughts try to creep back in

• Remember that healing is not about being unaffected. It is about being aware and intentional

You do not have to be chosen to be valuable. You do not have to be desired to be worthy. You are already whole.

Welcome to the work of reclaiming yourself. This is what it looks like when you stop performing and start healing.